Chapter's 16-18
Chapter 16 is entitled "Carlisle"... so either Bella and Edward travel to an island inhabited Carl's... or i have to learn more about the patriarch Cullen.
... sadly... my tropical shirt is still in the closet...
... Edward explains Carlisle's past by showing Bella oil painted portraits on the wall... because...apparently the Cullen's don't believe in projectors and are extremely vain.
So Carlisle's super power is being super-nice. Therefore, when he became a vampire, he hated himself and didn't want to kill humans. He tried to commit suicide but apparently couldn't die by any means... and therefore all the other vampires in the world hide in the sewers at night and cry for being different...or so i assume that's the reason that they don't conquor the whole world.
...anyways...
...Carlisle gets hungry and, instead of eating poor defenseless humans, he rips apart a family of deer... who i am pretty sure were Bambi's second cousins.
Carlisle controls his hunger and vows to only help people and become a doctor...so he can drain them financially...i guess.
...Edward talks a bit more about Carlisle but always seems to come back to talking about himself and how he can do freaking everything...except die... douche bag...
We learn Edward had a rebellious phase and left Carlisle... and ate felons and criminals... which i guess... counts more as a vigilante phase than a rebellious... unless he also took up smoking...
The chapter ends with the family asking Bella to play baseball. That's right... baseball...
...vampires...love baseball...
...You'd think that vampires would create cooler games in their spare time of living for-fucking-ever... but i'll get back to making fun of baseball later...
So Edward wants to be introduced to Bella's dad Charlie as her boyfriend... and Bella want's to re-introduce herself as the town whore... so they go back home.
Guess who's waiting at home for them though! Pocahontas and Billy the scary more intimidating indian. They came to drop off fish for Charlie, but found Bella in cahoots with that Cullen boy. Edward let Bella handle the situation and left.
After a whole lot of awkward staring at each other, Billy finally warns Bella not to hang around with Edward. I became frustrated, however, because they said it without...actually saying it... kinda like this.
Billy: Maybe you don't know what you're really getting into Bella.
Bella: Maybe i know what i maybe getting into.
Billy: Maybe you may, but i know that maybe you know that i know what you're getting into.
Bella: Maybe i know more about what you know about what I am about to maybe getting into Baseball, moan, 27 dresses.
Billy then pretty much says, "touche' " and is off with Jacob back home.
Charlie comes home and beats Bella furiously.
...haha... no he really doesn't... but wouldn't that be funny? I was just seeing if you were paying attention.
Anyways. Edward picks up Bella and they are off to the baseball...sigh...field.
...to make baseball sound more interesting i'm going to call it Mega-Fantastic-Ball.
So the family starts playing Mega-Fantastic-Ball during a passing storm. They only play it then because the thunder masks the sounds they make as they hit the ball... which is stupid... plain and simple...
...anyways... some interesting stuff happens.
Alice drops the ball... not literally...but figuratively, and misjudges the distance of a group of passing Vampires that were mentioned in the previous chapter.
Now we have a whole new Mega-Fantastical-Ball game.
They arrive and seem to want to play. But the Cullens don't want them to catch the scent of Bella.
...sadly... Bella starts her cycle at that very moment and they mark her as prey. Edward and his siblings are forced to take her away before something more interesting happens.
...and they do...
...and i sigh...
The chapter ends with Bella devising a plan of moving far away so she can't be tracked by the hunter vampires...or ever watch baseball again.
Overall...not a bad 3 chapters. They were the shortest 3 i had read so far, but the most stuff seemed to happen. Chapter 18 ends with Bella running for her life...so we'll see what happens in the next chapters. 7.5/10
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